I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize