in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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