since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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