We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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