It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
