do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
