I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
