i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
