Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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