She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
