Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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