Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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