whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize