I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just cut my nipple shaving
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
