Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
