I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
