Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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