before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
