What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
