Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize