Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
