Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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