your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
