either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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