He uses pillows to masturbate.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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