I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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