just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
