I'm so fucking centered right now
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize