Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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