She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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