i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
