He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize