Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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