My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
