I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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