But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
