she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
