Don't you send me to vm
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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