He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
