Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
