seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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