come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
