i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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