weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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