hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
