Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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