I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
