Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
