turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
