Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
