can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
whose parrot is this?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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