if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize