his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
