i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
