I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
