I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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