I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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