Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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