Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
