What a fucking waste of an outfit
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
