Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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