we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
