plz talk dirty to me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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