There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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