I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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