Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
