No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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