I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
