Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Buhtt sex?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
