Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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