no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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